You never forget the one you love
by Special Agent Sunshine
Summary: They kept it quiet, but they were photographed and now, everyone knows... Go r/r because its finished!!!!!!
1. chapter one

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Chapter one. 

"C.J.," He said gravely.

"Yes, Sir?" She asked, knowing what he was going to say.

"Leo said the story's breaking today. Toby said you and he will need to prepare a statement."

C.J nodded, then silently went to his office. 

"So…" She said, leaning on the doorframe, her voice shaking.

"Yeah?"

"Today?"

"Yup."

"Wasn't there anyway you could see this coming?" Toby snapped, unable to repress his anger. 

"Yeah, I've had my crystal ball out every night before I went to bed- or hadn't you noticed?" She shot back. "We've known this was coming ever since that night when we first got together, when the President was re-elected. We've made it this far." Her voice cracked slightly but she fought back tears, carrying on. "If you want to back out now, well… its your choice." She couldn't hold back a sob as she left Toby Zeigler, speechwriter extraordinaire, speechless at his desk.

He put his head in his hands and groaned. Sam knocked at the door.

"Erm… The speech."

"What?" Toby said, his head buried in his hands.

"I'll help. If you want."


	2. chapter two

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Chapter two. 

C.J and Toby stood in the Press Briefing room, breathing deeply. Toby took a deep breath and began:

"Last week, two photographs were taken of Miss C.J. Cregg and myself, Toby Zeigler. The first showed us entering my apartment in the late evening, the second, us leaving in the early morning. The pictures, and various speculations, were posted on the Internet yesterday and are in today's newspapers. We cannot deny the allegations of our relationship."

He took a step back, looked at her pointedly and she took her usual stance at the podium, albeit looking more tired and withdrawn than usual. She was very serious and the reporters soon picked up on the fact that she was not her usual self. "Any questions?"

Her voice was shaky and it unnerved Toby slightly. He had changed his tune since he and Sam had written the speech. He stepped forward and squeezed her hand slightly. "C.J." he whispered. "Ask someone." She shook her head slightly as if removing herself from a daze and gave him a weak smile. 

"Erm… Katie?" She called, purposely avoiding Danny's eyes and raised hand.

"C.J., how long has this been going on?"

"About six months or so." 

"Since President Bartlet was re-elected?"

"Yes, Katie."

"C.J.!" Danny called out. His face was pale and he looked shocked. "Do you love him C.J?" His eyes bored into hers. She looked away from him, up to Josh and Sam behind the glass at the back of the room, then to Toby. 

"Yes, yes I do." 

She glanced back at Danny and her eyes locked with his. They searched for the answer she hadn't given, the one he wanted her to give, but it wasn't there. She felt nothing for him. Then she turned back to Toby and smiled, without realising. He smiled back at her nervously; he was eager for this to be over.

"Steve?" She shouted out.

"Will you both be continuing to work here?"

She glanced back at Toby. "We are currently in discussion about the matter. That is a full lid on this subject! I will brief you again at two. NO MORE QUESTIONS!" She yelled at the Press, seeing Josh making throat-slitting motions at her. They walked out the room, straight into the Oval Office, hearts pounding.

"That was fun!" She said sarcastically as the rest of the Senior Staff and the President joined them.

"Are you currently in discussion?" Sam asked, his face serious.

"We'll need a meeting. Tonight." Toby said quietly. 

The President nodded and pressed the intercom button on his telephone. "Charlie, everyone in this room needs to be free tonight from nine. Including me."


	3. chapter three

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Chapter three. 

Toby was lay on the couch in his office, the lights low, his stereo playing softly. Josh knocked on the door and walked in. "You OK?"

"Not really. Toby moved up so Josh could sit next to him. There was a long pause. 

"What's this music?"

"My friend in England sent it to me. Someone called David Gray." Toby paused. "The song reminds me of her."

"Why?"

"I don't know why, it just does. Maybe because it was playing in here after the election, when she came in here to congratulate me and we ended up…" He trailed off.

"What?"

"You know."

"No, what?" Josh joked, knowing full well what Toby meant.

"Telling me how she felt about me. Me telling her everything. Andrea. Me persuading Leo to use her for the campaign and, well, everything."

"I never had you as a sentimentalist." Josh said quietly.

Toby looked at him. "Neither did I." 

There was another pause. "What's this song called?" 

"This Years Love." Toby smiled, very slightly.

Josh stretched his arms above him. "Maybe I'll borrow it sometime. Come on, its nearly nine." They got up and walked down to the basement, where there was an agent at the door. 


	4. chapter four

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Chapter four. 

"Dinosaur." Josh stated and the agent let them in. Toby looked at him. 

"Dinosaur?" 

"Jurassic Park." Josh said over his shoulder as they entered the room. The President, Leo and Sam were already there. C.J. followed shortly. She took a seat next to Toby as The President cleared his throat and stood up.

"Well, we all know why we're here. Last year, something similar happened to Josh, and after extensive discussions, Donna Moss took it upon herself to leave her job here at The White House. 

"But, I feel it may not be the same solution with you two. I'm sorry, Josh, but this is different than it was for you. I can't let you two go. After the Haiti incident a few years ago, I told you, C.J., that I needed you, that I wouldn't let you resign. It's going to be the same this time, for you and Toby. But I think that you shouldn't continue your relationship."

C.J.s head reeled. This wasn't possible. She looked at Toby, who was staring at the President, a look of pure shock on his face, his hands clutching the edges of the table, his knuckles whitening. 

"I'm sorry, Mr. President, but I don't think that's possible." Toby said, never taking his eyes off him. ""I can't do that. It's taken me twenty years to finally be with the woman I truly love, against all odds. I don't want to lose that now. If I have to lose that, then The White House will lose its Communications Director." He took C.J.s hands in his own and looked at her. She felt a tear fall down her cheek and Toby brush it away softly, sending shivers down her spine.

"With all due respect, Sir, I can't do what you say either." She smiled at Toby and then looked at everyone in turn around the table. They were all staring at them, rendered speechless. Even the President felt his heart soften and he spoke again.

"Well, my instructions have been defied. But I'll say this; I can't let you two be split up after watching that. You must promise me this: work is work and that only. You keep your private lives to outside The White House. And you'll never be able to get away from the Press, being as high profile as you two are. Look what happened to Josh." 

Josh grimaced, remembering the painful breakup he suffered with Donna after they realised that they worked too closely together, especially with them being in a relationship together, and with the Press on their backs constantly, hatching new rumours about them and taking photos of them wherever they went, they decided to go their separate ways. She had moved to New York several months ago now and Josh felt a pang of sadness- he hadn't got over it, and he suspected he wouldn't for a long time yet; maybe he never would. He was now seeing Amy Gardner again, but knew he was only with her as she was a (in his opinion, poor) substitute for Donna and he didn't have the nerve to break it off.

They all stood up as The President turned to leave. C.J. and Toby looked at each other and smiled weakly, then walked their separate ways to their offices.


	5. chapter five

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Chapter five. 

There was a knock on Josh's door not long after he'd closed it on his return home that night. He turned on his heel and answered it. She was holding a stack of newspapers, looking quite irate.

"Donna! W-what are you doing here?" He ran a hand through his hair.

"I heard about C.J. and Toby." She held up the papers.

"Did you?" He asked stupidly, trying to make some kind of small talk, knowing how angry she would be when she found out.

"Yes I did, Josh. I do read the papers. Can I come in?" He motioned for her to go in and she stalked into the living room. 

"You want a drink?" He asked. By the look on her face, it was clear she didn't.

"What's happened to them?"

"What?"

"Josh, drop the act. What's happened now that the press have found out? What's the situation?"

He paused, looking uncomfortable, then said in a small voice, "They're both staying."

"WHAT?" She dropped the newspapers on the floor.

"Well, they are the Communications Director and the Press Secretary. They're not…"

"Assistants? Is that what you were going to say?"

"They're more in the public eye than you were. And the President can't afford to lose them, not now." He looked at her and his heart melted. He willed her to feel for him what he felt for her, but he was certain she didn't. She stared at the floor, not wanting to lock her eyes with his for fear of feeling what she used to, thinking he felt nothing, or maybe even worse, that he hated her. 

"Can I stay here tonight? It's a long way back to New York at three in the morning."

""Yeah. You know where the spare room is. I'm going to bed." He yawned and started to walk up the stairs. Her hand grabbed his, stopping him in his tracks. She leant in towards him, feeling it was like it used to be…

"No, Donna."

"Why?" 

"Look what happened last time. It ended up a mess. I can't risk doing that to you, or me, again." He turned and walked up the stairs and this time, she didn't stop him.


	6. chapter six

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Chapter six. 

Donna was gone by the time Josh went to work. It was Saturday, but he preferred to work at his office. He hadn't set his alarm, so he turned up later than he would have liked, to see Donna sat in his office, his new assistant glaring at her.

"She wouldn't go, Josh." 

"Its OK, Janet, I'll talk to her now." He walked into his office and shut the door. She followed him with her eyes as he hung his coat on the back of the door, put his bag on the desk, took out what he needed and sat on his chair, turning around to switch on the computer behind him.

"I thought you'd gone."

"No, I've got a meeting with Leo in an hour."

"Why?" Josh wished she wasn't doing this.

"Because its not fair. I end up leaving over us while both of them stay."

Josh groaned in exasperation and sighed, "I told you, they are more in the public eye than you were. And The President needs them."

Her face softened as though she was about to cry. 

"You need me."

Josh stopped at this statement. "I know." His voice was barely more than a whisper. "But I can't have you. The Press has made me realise that. We did the right thing. C.J. and Toby have no idea what's coming to them, staying together when they are in the public eye as much as they are, her especially. They'll get ripped to shreds. It won't work." His voice cracked slightly and he turned his chair away from her.

Donna rose from her chair and reached for the door handle. "Janet, cancel my meeting with Leo, please."


	7. chapter seven

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Chapter seven.

While Josh was at The White House, Toby was stretched out in bed, reflecting on the previous days events. He regretted making C.J. go through with it and, most of all, he regretted shouting at her in his office.

He felt strange, being alone in the morning. It was quiet without another person next to him, another person breathing softly as they slept. He reached for the phone at the side of his bed, but thought better of it and got up out of bed. He wasn't going to go into the office today unless they needed him.

When he had showered and dressed, he sat down to a solitary breakfast of… there was nothing in the fridge. He grabbed his wallet and walked out of his apartment to the café at the end of his street, oblivious to the camera constantly snapping his image as he ate his breakfast alone and then, after that, walking over to her apartment.

She had felt the same way when she had woken up, turning over to find no one there, finding the silence almost unbearable. She was glad to hear the knock on the door, overjoyed to see exactly whom she had wanted to see and embraced him, not knowing that it had just been immortalised on film for tomorrows news.


	8. chapter eight

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Chapter eight.

"Toby?"

"Yes?"

"Do you regret yesterday?" 

Her words were unexpected and he hesitated before answering. In truth, he didn't know what to say. "I only regret making you go through it." He stared at the top of her head resting on his chest and planted a kiss on it tenderly. She looked up at him and smiled.

"I have to do that every day."

"I know." He felt her nestle deeper into his embrace and as he leant in to kiss her, his phone rang. He groaned and reached for it grudgingly. "Toby Zeigler."

"Its Josh."

"Oh."

"There's another picture."

"I'll be right there." He hung up and jumped off the sofa, grabbing his coat.

"What's wrong?" She asked, looking confused.

"I'll ring you later. Don't forget."

"Don't forget what?" She watched him head toward the door.

"How much I love you."


	9. chapter nine

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Chapter nine.

C.J. went to the office soon after Toby, annoyed slightly that he hadn't told her what he had to rush off so urgently for. She went straight to his office and found no one there. What did surprise her was when she walked into Josh's office and saw Donna sat there. 

"Donna!" She said, shocked.

"Hi, C.J." Donnas smile was fake as she greeted the Press Secretary flippantly.

"Have you seen Josh, Sam or Toby?"

"They're with Leo." She said coldly. C.J. turned on her heel to go, but thought better of it.

"Donna, I know you're pissed because you ended up leaving here and me and Toby don't need to, but you have to realise, we are different- career-wise, that is. We are seen in the papers and on TV and you aren't. You are-"

"Just an assistant? Funny, Josh said virtually the same to me last night."

"I didn't mean that. You know Josh is back with Amy Gardner?"

There was a loud crash as Donna (and the chair) fell backwards onto the floor. She recovered herself with as much dignity as she could muster and sat back down. The look on her face was in between one of pure venom and one that looked as though she was about to cry. "Amy Gardner?"

C.J. nodded. "I'll just go to Leos office."

She closed the door of Josh's office and Donna burst into tears.


	10. chapter ten

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Chapter ten.

C.J. burst into Leo's office, ignoring Margaret's pleas for her to wait for a few minutes.

"I want to know what's going on." 

Toby, Leo, Josh and Sam all turned to look at her. They all looked at either each other or the floor, none of them wanting to tell her what was going on. Finally, Sam cleared his throat.

"Another picture, well, a series of pictures really, of you and Toby were posted on the internet around noon today."

C.J. was dumbstruck. "From when?"

"This morning. Its of me and you on your apartment doorstep, you only in your nightgown." Toby said quietly. He was shocked at these pictures and yet he felt as though it wasn't happening; he wanted it to not be happening.

Leo's telephone rang and he answered. After a short conversation, he hung up and turned to them.

"The President wants to see you now."


	11. chapter eleven

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Chapter eleven.

They filed silently into the Oval Office, lining up along the Presidents desk as though lining up in front of a firing squad. Toby and C.J. studied the carpet as Jed Bartlet spoke; neither could look him in the eye.

"Could you give me and C.J. the room, please?"

The rest of them filed out and Toby cast a backward glance at C.J's tall frame, head bowed, and his heart ached. He was annoyed at this happening to her; he didn't want it to. He only wanted himself to be worried by it, not her.

The President motioned for C.J. to sit down on the couch and he sat in a chair. He studied her face- she looked shocked and pale, her eyes glistening slightly with tears.

"As you're the Press Secretary I felt this was a matter to be discussed with you as you are in frequent contact with the press, but it will be more difficult as you are directly involved. What do you suggest happens from here?"

"Well," she cleared her throat, "the only thing is for one, or both of us, to leave. The one who resigns will have to make a statement to the Press tomorrow saying they have resigned for personal reasons and it would be best if they left Washington." Her voice cracked at the end of her sentence and she put her head into her hands.

"I see. TOBY!" The President shouted and Toby came into the room. He sat down opposite C.J., knowing what was coming.

"One of you will have to leave. There's no use beating about the bush with the matter. I can't lose both of you, but I'm afraid one of you will have to go." He looked at them both, then stood up. "I'll leave you alone for a while."

Toby looked at her. She was gazing back at him. "Mr. President, "Toby said, "you don't need to leave. I will."

Jed turned around. Toby carried on in a monotonous voice. "If I go, Sam can take over my job. There is no one to take over C.J. You wont need me for anything major; the State of The Union was a month ago. I'll be gone by the end of the month."

The President walked over and hugged Toby. "I'm sorry, if I could, I would let both of you stay. But in this situation, its got to be like this. I'll be sorry to lose you." 

C.J. stood up. "But that only gives you a week here." Tears ran down her cheeks and she made no effort to stop them.

"I'll go to my brothers place, find an apartment there." He said to her as he moved closer to her. He hugged her. "I better go prepare my statement."

"No."

"C.J., you can't stop me doing this."

"I can. I'll resign."

"No you won't. I've explained, there's someone to take over my job. They need you more than me." He walked out of the room and she broke down in a wave of fresh tears.


	12. chapter twelve

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Chapter twelve.

He moved as planned, at the end of February. C.J. was alien towards everyone; she moved around and did her job in a robotic fashion, seeing memories of him everywhere.

She constantly replayed in her head the argument they had, the night before he left, where they had split up, both thinking it the best for the other person, while their own hearts breaking at the thought of being separated from that person who they had yearned for, for so long.

Josh was also out of spirits; Donna had gone back to New York and the relationship with Amy was dragging him down, yet he couldn't bear to break it off with her. Amy had noticed he was out-of-sorts and tried to bring him out of it, to no avail. She suspected it had something to do with Donna.

"J," she said into the phone.

"What?" He snapped. He was busy and the last thing he needed was her voice down the phone.

"We need to talk. Tonight. When will you be finished?"

"About 11." He answered, adding about two hours onto the time he would actually finish work.

"OK, I'll come round your apartment about half past eleven then .Bye, J." She hung up.

He put his head into his hands, and then looked up, thinking. She needed to talk. She might want to break up with him. He felt mean, but he smiled slightly, in spite of it all, as C.J. walked into his office.

"What you smiling at?" She said jovially.

"Nothing. You heard from him?"

"No. You?" 

"Nope."

"Right. OK. Erm… I'll be going now." She left as abruptly as she came. The same scene happened almost every day, and the answers were always the same, Josh thought as he turned back to his computer and began to type.


	13. chapter thirteen

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Chapter thirteen.

Josh gave a slight yell when he saw her on the steps to his apartment, with a bottle of wine beside her, shivering in the November weather. Wordlessly, he opened the door and ushered her in. She went to the kitchen and opened the wine as he put his coat away. She put two glasses on the coffee table and poured the wine. All this was done without a word.

She sat next to him and he turned her chin towards him, then cupped her face in his hands before kissing her…

Two hours later, there was a knock on the door. He wondered who it could be, then suddenly remembered. Buttoning his shirt and straightening his tie, he went to the door. 

"Amy! You've caught me at a bad time; I've got a colleague over about work."

"Well, why is there lipstick on your face?" She demanded, before storming past him into the living room, where she saw Donna in the settee, combing her tousled hair with her fingers.

She turned back to Josh. "Explain."

His mouth opened and shut like a goldfish. He was at a loss for words. Amy watched him intently, waiting for an explanation.

"I thought so. You can't explain, can you? I knew you were pining over her, all these months, but I thought that maybe you would forget."

"You never forget the one you love." He said simply.

She looked at him, sighed exasperatedly, and then flounced out of the door.

He grinned stupidly at Donna, then rejoined her on the sofa.


	14. chapter fourteen

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Chapter fourteen.

C.J. felt uncomfortable around Josh, him being as happy as he was. It wasn't that she wasn't happy for him; she was envious of him, envious that he was back with the one he loved. She was thinking about this when Carol came in to her around 6PM in the evening. 

"You have a visitor."

"What? I've no meetings."

"This is more of a social call." Said a voice that she recognised and she leaped out of her chair into his outstretched arms, the argument forgotten.

"I'm sorry." He whispered into her ear.

"No, I am." She whispered back.

"Toby!" Josh shouted, seeing him as he walked past C.J.s office. The two men embraced as Josh asked, "What are you doing back here?"

"Well, you never forget the one you love." 

Josh stared at him. ""That's weird, I said exactly the same thing to Amy yesterday."

"About Amy?" Toby asked, grimacing.

"No, about Donna. She's back. Well, not here."

Toby smiled, never taking his eyes off C.J. the whole time. "No meetings tonight?"

"Nope." She looked straight into his eyes, seeing her smiling face in them.

"Well, lets go back to your apartment." He took her hand and led her out of The White House.


	15. chapter fifteen

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Chapter fifteen.

"C.J."

"Yes, Carol?"

"Toby's in the lobby. He wants you to meet him there now."

C.J. jumped up and nearly tripped over her chair in the rush to get out of her office. She passed Sam, who, confused at what the rush was about, decided to follow her. Josh and Leo saw them rush past their offices and came out to see what was happening. Toby was stood in the lobby, his hands in his pockets. C.J. stopped and faced him.

"What's wrong?"

To her utter surprise and everyone's amazement, he dropped to one knee, taking his hands out of his pockets. Nobody saw the President walk up to Leo and stand silently next to him. 

"C.J., when I asked you this twenty years ago, circumstances prevented it happening. Hopefully, this time, they won't. Claudia Jean Cregg, will you marry me?" He slipped a ring with a single diamond flanked by two sapphires onto the finger of her left hand. It still fits, he thought, as he stood up and saw the tears glistening in her eyes.

"Yes."

He smiled and hugged her tight, before kissing her. It felt like they were totally alone, apart from Josh and Sam cheering and clapping, then everyone else cheering too. The President stood forward as the noise subsided.

"Married couples work together in The White House, don't they?"

"Well, you and Abbey, Sir."

"That's what I mean. Toby, how would you like your job back?"

"Yes Sir."

"When can you start?" 

****

The End.


End file.
